Something Different

Tim feeds the early morning camp fire. The morning mist swirls around him as the sun barely lights the sky. The trunks of the trees are black in contrast to the ghostly clouds that scrape the earth before him. The damp wood snaps and crackles. Yellow flames cough out white smoke that makes the fog look dull in comparison. The light of the fire nor the luminous column of smoke give Tim any comfort. Bret would be there soon and Tim knew full well of his own guilt. There was a knot in his stomach as if the world was ending. Here in the fog, his private little hell with only the fire to keep him company. Moreover, it is what he deserved and that hurt the more. Every piece of his life was shattered only the mirror had yet to be broken. He was standing on the edge of that moment, just as the tea cup slips from your hand and all you can do is watch it fall. He curses the moment. Better to be smashed into a thousand pieces than endure this limbo for an instant more. The smashing of his life was inevitable. The pain of waiting for it to happen; excruciating.
A chill ran through his body. His toes were cold inside his boots. He held the soul over the fire. Burning heat filled the soft arch of his foot. He put his foot back down on the ground and stomped the burn out. His toes were still cold. The knot in his stomach all the worse. After an eternity, or several minutes, the sound of tires on gravel could be heard. Bret's truck was finally coming up the drive. A flush of relief and anxiety whitened Tim's face and drained the sound from his ears.
Tim blew air out his lungs with forceful breath to keep his head from swimming in panic. His heart was pounding in his temple. He saw sparkles in his vision and the world swirled with the sensation of faintness. It washed over him with the weight of an ocean wave. Suffocation was the thought in his head now more than the impending confrontation with Bret. He had to breathe, move and think. The only action his body wanted to take was to run.
The lights from Bret's truck peered over the back as it came to a stop up by the house. The feeling of panic buzzed in Tim's ears louder than ever and then subsided as quickly as it had come. The hot flushing of his skin settled to an unexpected calm. Tim could see Bret coming down the trail now, but all Tim wanted to do was sleep. A drowsy quiet settled over Tim's mind. Where fear once clogged his thoughts irritation crept in. Bret was arriving at the most inconvenient of times. All Tim wanted was to rest. Was that so much to ask? “Couldn't we do this later?” he thought. Bret was on his way now and the confrontation was inevitable and immediate and there was nothing either of them could do about it.